How to become more Parisian

Mathilde and Slimen are so nice! Mathilde loves Prison Break, and she made Slimen watch the first episode of the new season, and he really liked it. He told me he used to think it was dumb because they were always in prison trying to get out and it was boring, but he likes the new season because they're doing stuff other than trying to get out of prison. So last night I went to their house and we watched the last two episodes in English. I don't think it's available in French, but either way, Mathilde and Slimen usually watch it in English because apparently it's lame to watch American television in French.

We had a bit of a scare last night because it came time for dinner and Aurélie called for Cooky because she was putting his food out, but he never showed up. So we searched the house and couldn't find him, so we all went outside to look in the garden and on the street. I felt terrible for Aurélie because she was really upset and started crying, thinking he got hit by a car or something. After a bit of looking around we went back inside and he was right there! No one had any idea where he had been hiding or why he hadn't responded when we called because he loves attention and is always underfoot. But it all turned out all right.

Today we had salmon for lunch and it was delicious. Mathilde came to eat with us, and Slimen came with but he didn't eat on account of Ramadan. I felt sort of bad for eating right in front of him; that must be really tough. After lunch Mathilde asked me if I wanted to go to "chez Ikea," and I didn't understand what she said on account of "Ikea" sounding much different in French. I think it's funny how French people say "the house of Ikea" instead of just "Ikea." They only do this for some stores, like Carrefour, which is sort of a French Meijer. But when it's used in conversation it's funny, like "Yesterday I went to the house of Carrefour to buy some vegetables." If you don't know what's going on it sounds like they went over to Carrefour's house, and it's like, Who's Carrefour?

So right now it is 63 degrees, which in French is code for, “Wear a cami, long-sleeved shirt, zip-up, jacket, and scarf; winter is here! Batten down the hatches!” My 20-year-old host sister is always calling me crazy since I don’t wear a jacket, and I always tell her that if she lived in Indiana, she wouldn’t think that it’s cold here either.

So after with that in mind, and after living here for nearly three weeks, I’d like to provide you all with a short 10-step guide I like to call, “How to become more Parisian.”

Step 1: Wear six layers of clothes because you are always cold.
Step 2: Don’t smile at anyone you don’t already know, even if you have accidental eye contact in the street or on the metro.
Step 3: Wear all black. Always. Including your socks.
Step 4: For girls only: wear tights at all times, preferably black.
Step 5: Wear heels, boots with heels, Chuck Taylors, or Puma shoes. These are the only types of footwear I have seen sported by the average Parisian. Obviously, my Rocket Dogs are totally out of style.
Step 6: Never look like your feet hurt, even while wearing stilettos and marching around Paris and climbing tons of metro steps. You are Parisian, pain is nothing compared to fashion!
Step 7: The scarf is your best friend, and as such, you must have your best friend with you at all times.
Step 8: Wake up at 8am all the time, including weekends. It doesn’t matter how late you were up the night before, that’s why French coffee is so strong.
Step 9: Learn to love cheese and tomatoes because they are literally everywhere. I told my host family I didn’t like raw tomatoes, and one might have thought I said that I like to beat kittens in my spare time. So… suck it up and eat your tomatoes or suffer many jokes at your expense. Ditto cheese, even the stinky kinds.
Step 10: Realize that no matter how good you look, there will always be a better-dressed man on the metro. I would almost venture to say the men dress better than the women, but maybe this is because the women are always wearing coats because it's "so cold."

CAUTION: Keep in mind these are tips on becoming more Parisian, not more French, so don’t try this in Canada/Francophone countries.